What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
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