Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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