dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
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Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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