this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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