My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
