dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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