if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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