We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
