My brain says no but my pants say off.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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