You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
