Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
