I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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