Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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