Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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