just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
