Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
