"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
