I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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