I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I have tasted many bathrooms
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
