I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I have already put on my inside pants.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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