I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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