I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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