Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
