im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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