i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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