Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
