Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize