so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
splinters make it hard to masturbate
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
