so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
is wine microwaveable?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize