Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's work?
Spinning.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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