My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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