Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
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