Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
