i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize