sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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