Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
