I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
