tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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