I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
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I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
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Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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