I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
my shit smells like andre
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
