I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
