ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Randomize
