16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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