So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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