I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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