absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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