A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
we made out on top of his cat.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
