Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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