Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
