I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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