I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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