We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
