Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
