i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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