Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
