If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.