After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
We got so high we made milksteak
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers